Did someone mention money? Because that’s my cue to be here!
I know we are here for the gorgeous dresses, the big rock, the squad and the super lit wedding. Trust me, I’m here for all of those too. But when the party’s over, you have to do real life with the person you’ve said ‘I do’ to. And I hate to break it to you but endless money problems can put a strain on the fairytale.
So before you take that rock and commit to forever, find out some very important things by asking the following money questions:
Ask About Dependents
This might be the last thing that comes to mind when you are dating, but it is easily one of the first things that many new brides and grooms struggle through in the infamous first year of marriage. It doesn’t make for the most interesting conversation during date night but knowing who depends on your partner and how much goes out of his/her pocket to dependents ranks pretty high up there as one of the most important things to talk about.
It’s also nice to know if the dependents are temporary or permanent dependents because that could have an impact on your joint financial future. So go ahead and ask the hard questions: Who depends on you financially? And what’s the amount and frequency of your disbursements to them?
Ask About Debt
Sometimes, debt is good. Most times, debt is bad. Debt only has the potential to be great when it’s used as leverage for business purposes. It can also be considered good when it’s used to finance a home through a mortgage. But besides those, debt literally has a negative impact on one’s net worth. So go ahead and ask the hard question: Sweetheart, who do you owe and how much?
Ask About Expectations
It’s very important to find out what your partner’s financial expectations are with regards to your marriage. Joint, separate or sorta joint? Would money management be done by one or both of you? Would you split financial responsibilities down the middle or will there be a breadwinner? There’s a lot to unpack here and I’ll break down the various marriage money mindsets in an upcoming post – so stay tuned. But for now, ask the hard question: What do you expect me to bring to the table? The whole bread or part of it?
Ask About Transparency
There’s a popular quote in the personal finance world: ‘Don’t tell me what you care about. Show me what you’ve been spending on’. Find out if your partner believes in financial transparency. If they don’t, that could actually be a potential red flag. So go ahead and ask the hard question: Can I see your bank statement?
Ask About Their Goals
It’s important to know what drives a person and where they are driving to before you decide to join in for the ride. Knowing what success means to your partner would let you know if you are both going in the same direction. So go ahead and ask the hard questions: How do you measure success? And what are your plans to get there?
Whoop! If you have read up to this point, I’m super excited for you! You and your lover are about to be off to a great start and I promise to hold your hand every step of the way. If you have any questions at all, drop them in the comments section; and also let us know which of the questions you would be confident enough to ask on your next date. See you at the same time next week, friend!