6 Financial Red Flags You Should Look Out for in a Relationship

Hey Fam!

How’s it going? I really did enjoy talking about money the last time. I actually always enjoy talking about money. If you haven’t read my first post about 8 money things everyone should know and practice before they meet the one. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about financial red flags in a relationship.

I know guys, you’re welcome! Let’s get into it.

When you find the person that makes your heart dance, it becomes difficult to see areas where you both might not be aligned. And if you are like most people, money might be one of those areas. Many don’t realize that they are financially incompatible with their partners until much later in the relationship – usually after marriage. But since you are reading this, you are definitely ahead of the curve.


Here are 6 money red flags to look out for even if your lover gives you butterflies:

Income Obscurity, Ask Questions

Do research. Don’t just close your eyes and enjoy the trips and gifts. Find out what exactly funds your partner’s lifestyle and whether or not it is sustainable. Today might be enjoyable but forever is a very long time. If your lover can’t describe what exactly they do for a living, something is off.


Destiny Sucking

‘Why do you work so hard? Do you think I am incapable of taking care of you?’ These are the ones that’ll tell you not to take the wonderful job offer. They’ll talk you out of investing. They’ll convince you that you’re not really as badass as you think you are. When you play big, they get intimidated. I call this destiny sucking. Pick up your shoes and run if you have big goals for your life.


 Validation Spending

Validation spenders spend money to feel liked and accepted. They’re the ones that drive benzes with empty tanks. They’re the ones that own Birkins with empty bank accounts. A validation spender might end up neglecting important responsibilities in an attempt to appear like a baller to people on the outside. To validation spenders, perception is more important than reality.


Honesty should be one of the pillars of your dating relationship if you intend to nurture it into a healthy marriage. Money lies are dangerous lies. Lies of all forms are toxic in any relationship. Lying about money is no exception.

Lack of Financial Discipline

The ability to live below one’s means and set money aside for emergencies and investments is a sign of good financial health. A lack of that is a sign of poor financial health. No investments might honestly be a result of financial illiteracy. However, having no savings is synonymous to having no money discipline.



In a previous article, I shared 5 important money questions to ask before you say I do. But how can you get responses to the questions if your partner never wants to talk about money? How can you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into? If your boo runs away from this very important topic anytime it comes up, there might be something to explore there.
So glad you made it this far, sweet friend!


If you’ve experienced any of these or other red flags and you have thoughts or questions, feel free to drop them in the comments section. This is a safe space! Oh, and don’t forget to share this article with the people you love. See you in the next one, friend!

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  • Reply
    Nubian Zee
    December 3, 2020 at 4:57 PM

    Love this, thank you very much?

  • Reply
    December 3, 2020 at 4:05 PM

    When is the right time in a relationship to start taking about money with your partner?

    How do you start having money conversations with your partner?

  • Reply
    December 3, 2020 at 3:06 PM

    I have felt a tinge of destiny sucking. I have an educational opportunity to change careers. I honestly don’t know if I will enjoy the job but it would increase my income significantly. We have had discussions while I am still deciding if I want to love what I do or make alot of money. I feel thay he has been discouraging me because my income will surpass his and not because I might not find fulfillment.

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